Not Just Mom & Dad
This is a tough post to write, because admitting fault is never easy. Especially when we are trying to be “super moms” and give off this air of doing everything above and beyond.
The truth is, I’m not perfect – and neither are you. The sooner we accept that truth, the easier this is to digest. Since my little guy was born, I have been consumed with this idea of being Mom. And that’s natural, I think. A switch goes off inside of us and we want to protect, we want to nurture, we want to be everything for this one little person.
At the expense of two others. Yourself and your partner.
I grew up with parents who were very loving towards one another, who flirted like two teenagers, and who made it no secret that they were totally smitten with one another. My brothers and I used to gag when they would start kissing in front of us, but the truth is, that set such a powerful example for us! And it is so important for our son to grow up seeing the same from his parents. He deserves no less.
Eddie and I have always had a solid relationship. We communicate well, we genuinely enjoy one another’s company, we make every decision together, and we support each other’s decisions and endeavors 100%. Actually, a few months ago, Eddie was the one who suggested I start a blog. But I digress. Since becoming a mom, everything else has kind of taken a backseat.
And it shouldn’t. My relationship with Eddie is just as important as my relationship with our son. It’s so important for him to grow up seeing an example of a healthy, loving relationship, where both parties love, support, and admire one another. At the beginning of this year, we decided to start doing date nights. We used to do them all the time before the little guy was born, but honestly, it had taken a backseat. We haven’t been super regular about them, but we are seeing that we need to make the time and actually do them. We hire a sitter, I get dolled up for him, and we go out – usually somewhere we haven’t been and probably won’t make it to with the munchkin tagging along.
I used to make up all kinds of excuses in my head. “I need to put the baby to bed.” “I don’t want to spend the money.” “We shouldn’t eat out.” Excuses. Excuses. Excuses. So we finally did it. And I realized I missed that time with my husband. It ended up being more important for me to wipe away those excuses and spend a few hours as husband and wife, not as mom and dad. We recharged our batteries a little bit, and got to dote on one another the way we did before this tiny human came barging into our lives.
Fast forward to February – I mention I want to go to DC to see the cherry blossoms. Eddie tells me he would love to take that trip – sans baby. Cue the freak out. I literally flipped. After calming down, I thought about it, and to make a long story short, we ended up going alone. Was it hard? Yes. But it really wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be! FaceTime makes everything better, and the best part about going away was reuniting with that little monster!
But Eddie and I enjoyed the heck out of our trip. We got to reconnect, be silly together, fight over stupid things, and SLEEP! Oh my goodness how we have missed our sleep! hahaha
So if you have been putting off your time as a couple, stop what you’re doing, book a sitter, and do it. You don’t need to spend a lot of money, you don’t need to go far. Just do something you used to love to do together! I promise, you won’t regret it, and your whole family will be better for it.
xo,
