Saturday Scoop | banana peels & ballet slippers
Growing up, dance recital day was my favorite day of the year. Essentially we had a whole afternoon in June with our friends, laughing backstage. Plus the excitement and adrenaline of a performance to look forward to. I’d meticulouslypack my bag with snacks, water, and every item I’d need for the show (and then some – a trait which still shows up in my packing habits to this day). One year, when I was maybe in sixth grade, I packed a banana in my bag to make sure I had a nutritious snack to give me energy and calm my stomach when the nerves took over. At some point I ate the banana, but must have had a hard time finding a place to put the peel once I was done, so I threw it in my bag.
After the show, we’d always go eat dinner together with family and friends, and by the time I got home that night, I was exhausted. Once the recital passed, we typically had a four to six week break from dance over the summer, which meant that my dance bag, so meticulously packed the night before, now sat neglected in the corner of my closet until dance classes resumed in August.
Imagine my shock and utter disgust when I opened up my bag and found holes in my jazz shoes and ballet slippers where my forgotten banana peel had been rotting. ALL. summer. long. It’s the first time I remember being truly disgusted. Plus it took me like a week to work up the nerve to tell my parents that I needed a new pair of, well, everything for dance.
I recently made this big self-discovery that I used to tend to do that with my emotions, too. Whenever something bothered me, I’d tuck it away, in order to not inconvenience myself or anyone around me. That snide comment? Throw it in the bag, I’ll think about it later (or never). The hurtful action? Toss it in the bag with the rest of the unwanted emotions. We don’t talk about Bruno, in real life. Helpful? Maybe for a couple of hours. But eventually, someone needed something from that bag, and when I’d open it up, there was a rotten disaster in there, leaving me full of holes and hurts. It usually resulted in an emotional blow up or meltdown of some kind.
When we stop packing away the emotions, the hurts, the hard things, and bring them out into the open, it’s easier to move on from them and put them where they belong. Sometimes it’s the trash, but it could also mean having hard conversations and not letting tough feelings fester. Whatever it is, don’t let it sit there longer than it needs to. Discard those banana peels, it will be less cleanup later.
xoxo
Jenise
